Most people will recognize me like in this picture. Always smiling, joking around and 'happy'. But lately I'm just not as happy as I may look 😟
Training a lot, playing a lot of tournaments, pressure from people around me and myself, not much free time. Of course this is all part of the life I chose to live, but at the moment it's just too much to handle for me.
People come to me and say: hey but you're doing so well on court lately? And your ranking is going up as well? It's all true, but it doesn't feel like that to me at all. Honestly I just feel like shit, I don't feel like doing stuff and I can't motivate myself fully for anything.
Is there any profit for me or the people around me if I'm not a 100% there, or if I can't give a 100% in every practise or match? No, eventually there is no profit at all.
That's why I, together with trainers / coaches / medical staff made the decision to take a break. A break from practise, tournaments, everything.
For how long? No idea, till I feel motivated to play again, till I can see the fun of it in it again. Maybe it's gonna take a week or two, maybe a month or two. Honestly I don't really care, I just wanna feel good again and get the excitement back.
Was it an easy decision to make? Absolutely not, I've been walking around with it for some time now, but the battery is really empty now. Taking a break from your biggest hobby is not fun at all, but for now it's the best thing to do. Time to recharge my battery and focus on other stuff for a while ðŸ'‹ðŸ¼
